jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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