i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
