what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize