It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
