Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
