If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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