I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
