can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
