high people should be assigned attendants
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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