she smelled like a LAN party
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
