I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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