i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize