im holly from the hills drunk
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
