My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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