I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
