Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize