what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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