The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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