Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
