I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
