meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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