Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
