Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
