Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize