For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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