It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
