Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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