Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
