You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
