She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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