we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
