I love black thongs
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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