It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize