awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize