so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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