Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want to make out with him forever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
