well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
