i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have demons in me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
