Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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