Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
