You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
