Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
