So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize