doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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