wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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