I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
