I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
