I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
