I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
