porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
