i need an iv and a liver transplant
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
