weddingsv make me drug and hornr
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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