Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
