He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
