Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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