Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
