I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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