I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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