And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
