"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
