is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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