It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize