why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
